Why didn't it work when I prayed?

The year 2016 was a dark time in my life. It felt like all the lights had switched off inside of me and hope was totally lost. It didn't begin that way, it never usually does I guess.

I was invited to Southend Hospital to pray for my Auntie who had been diagnosed with a rare virus that was shutting down her immune system leaving her vulnerable to every disease known to man. In one word, she was dying and so was everybody else emotionally devoted to her. I was known as the young man who prays for the sick and they recover so my aunt summoned me.

I went to the hospital full of faith mixed with youthful zeal. I had never known God to not perform miracles so I was hearty and in good spirits. I knew the Lord would heal her, I had prayed over the sick and became quite the praying machine. I went into the hospital fully aware that heavens angels were backing me up.

I saw this morbidly frail woman, who inched the words out of her mouth, "Tomi, so good to see you!" Each word sounded like torture and those close to her insisted that she try to rest. I motioned towards her, grabbed her frail hand and spoke healing over her body.

Within 24 hours she was sent home totally healed and my confidence in God shot to a whole new level. Within the same year however another aunt of mine had taken a turn for the worse. It was cancer and she was in the final stages of life. My confidence unshaken again as I was summoned to the hospital by her to pray. Again, I went to the hospital and yet this time I saw her young children weeping by the bedside of a woman I could not even recognise. She was nothing but bones. Her breathing was unforgettable, quite like a fish out of water. Only her eyes were able to move. She stared at me with a stare I will never forget as long as I live. It was the stare of a woman who did not want to die!

My faith strong, I laid hands on her frail body, her kids watching anxious and excited and I spoke the same words of healing over her body. Within 24 hours, I received news that she had passed away. My soul sank and with it my faith. For 3 years people would call me to the hospital to pray and I would refuse to come. You see, I watched as those young children looked into my eyes the same way their mother did and it haunted me for years to know that their hopes died that night too. I carried this huge invisible rock on my back for 3 years, it had a label on it, 'God can heal anything through anyone but me!'

One day Jesus disciples were trying to cast out a demon of epilepsy from a boy, The disciples asked Jesus,

19Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?”

Matthew 17:19

And here lies the million dollar question! Why didn't it work when I prayed? Jesus response seemed so simplistic yet I have found to be all too true!

20He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Matthew 17:20

If Jesus said mustard seed faith could move mountains then it means that these disciples had the combined faith totalling smaller than a mustard seed. Have we misunderstood this thing called faith?

1Now faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things unseen

Hebrews 11:1

Faith is a substance! Sub (like submarine or submerge) means under, stance is where we get the word stand from. So therefore, faith is understanding what I hope for and bringing forth the evidence of what I cannot see.

Faith is a highly intelligent understanding of what you hope for that can only be revealed by the Holy Spirit. It is not what the atheist has termed it- blind faith! In fact our faith is evident meaning that it is very much seen.

A roman centurion asked Jesus for his servant to be healed. He then went on to explain his substance (understanding) of how it works by saying, I too am a man of authority having soldiers under me, I say to this one go and he goes... just say the word from where you are and my servant shall be healed. Jesus responded,

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel."

Luke 7:9

Jesus was amazed at his faith (understanding)! Might it be that our understanding of healing and deliverance needs to upgrade for us to come into new realms of healing and deliverance. You cannot have faith for healing without understanding healing, you cannot have faith for finance without having an understanding of finance. It is faith (understanding) that gives favour.

It is in times of great prayer and fasting that God begins to unlock revelation to us set to increase our understanding. I got delivered from a dark season through developing my understanding!

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